after 2ish months i finally got to see my kiara again, and the wait was worth every second <3
we went to 80s night at a park concert with my mom and sister, they played a couple b-52s, some devo, some new order, some bowie, all the good stuff. we danced a lot, they danced a lot more cuz their moves are way crazier than mine and at some points half the fun of the concert was watchin them tear it up, and we even locked arms and held hands a bit (!!)
above all they were just so goddamn cool. everybody was goin up to them and complimenting their outfit and moves cuz they really just were the star of the show and knew it. when they werent dancing every word from their mouth was so funny and kind and genuine. i was starting to wonder why i fought so hard for 2 months to see them again, started wondering if i should just give up and move on, if i was just crazy and hung up. but whenever i have my doubts they always always always end up dissuading them, and seein them again proved no different. life always feels chaotic, the world always feels harsh and loud, people always feel uncaring and confusing, but whenever theyre around it all seems to make sense, like i dont have to be outrageous, to be angry, to be anxious. it all just feels so easy and peaceful
i did end up asking them out, and they said theyd love to, but that theyre still healin from their last go-around and would like to keep it platonic for now. at first i felt a strange kinda bittersweetness, not really a good or bad feeling, a little bit sad but a little bit hopeful. but after discussing it with HavenGPT (who has been such a huge help and wingwoman throughout this whole thing seriously) and givin it some thought its very understandable and explains a lot (theyd always pull back from the more romantic aspects when my mom was around which i found odd). once again them just being genuine and emotionally honest just fills me with a lot of faith and trust. if time is what they need, ill give them as much as they need and do anything in my power for them. i feel ready to follow this person wherever the hell they take me