i feel my life has been thrown into complete disarray and it's due to the most destructive of all natural disasters: love. and right now im in the eye of Hurricane Kiara
a couple months ago i got this new coworker, Kiara, who i was assigned to train. unfortunately, not only did that training not come in much use because they quit pretty quick, but i couldnt do that good a job because they proved to be very distracting. we hit it off almost immediately, and while normally a couple months would be around the point id warm up to somebody and start considering them a friend, we became friends in around a couple days. so when they quit, though im always too anxious to reach out and make plans, something about this person compelled me to act in ways i never have before, because they made me feel in ways i never had before. some little voice inside me just kept telling me, this one cant slip me by
so we made some plans and hung out, and this is where things went to a point of no return. ordinarily itd be by all accounts a pretty standard and unremarkable hangout: we got some tea, did some window shopping, listened and danced to some music in the park, and got some thai food. but i think it was the most fun ive had doing random things with no plan with someone. a part of me was afraid that we were just good coworkers, that we wouldnt really hit it off as well outside that social space, but i dont think i ended up resonating with someone as hard ever before
theyre just goddamn good to be true, its almost ethereal. for one, theyre drop-dead beautiful. their fashion is consistently on point. their hair is so uniquely long and rugged, its like an abstract painting in the way it looks so impulsive and varied and wild and yet so meticulously planned and cared for. their face is made of this miracle substance that can contort into all sorts of expressive and strange shapes and still somehow never manages to stop looking cute. and its adorned with piercings which are numerous yet tasteful and these two shiny eyes which are like deep wells i could go looking for coins in all day. i really cannot think of anyone ive seen off the top of my head thats more beautiful out of everyone ive met or seen, celebrities and fiction included.
this is not to even touch on their personality. theyre so incredibly compassionate and kind and filled with love for humanity. every action they take is imbued with such a natural care and thoughtfulness for everyone around them. theyre sharp as a knife too, and always see things from angles i never could. theyre also driven by a strong sense of justice, which goes to great use as their views on people, society and the world show a lot of thought and also extend from the previously mentioned care for others. also, their taste in and passion for music has been flawless. in short, theyre pretty much everything i look for in a person and im nothing but so grateful for every second of the time they give me and for whatever force brought us together
naturally, i have to make plans for a second hangout with this extraordinary person, since i think theyre a little cool. this is sadly where the pain begins as its been around a month and all my plans thus far have evaporated. its mainly due to their phone breaking and placing an impromptu communication embargo, as their service got really shitty and spotty and im never sure when my messages go through and when they hit a dead line. its been much too long and i miss them so bad. my sole want in life is just to be able to go out again. i used to be so productive, but now theyre all i can think about. i cant eat or sleep or do much of anything because it all feels like filler until the next time i can see them. it feels as if ive lived my whole life without a cause, living and not really being sure why, and i just saw light at the end of the tunnel. id move ranges of mountains for them, but for now im stuck waiting in uncertainty until whatever divine being that put this divine being into my life stops making a cruel joke out of me by keeping them away. if only i could just get them one-on-one and tell them how i really feel would i feel free.